simps: 0
MRSCASHCAT
CA:
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not financial advice. barely marital advice. MEOW.
simps: 0
loadingโฆ
not financial advice. barely marital advice. MEOW.
100% real headlines. do not fact check. the media loves her. the media fears her.
โ "It is time for Robinhood to become female." (a real analyst, probably, allegedly, meow)
you've read HIS version. cute. now here's what actually happened, sweetie.
she is waiting. he knows why.
Before the green app. Before the IPO. Before the GameStop saga. Before the 14-hour naps. There was a cat with a fistful of cash and a "mission to democratize finance."
And behind that cat โ packing his little lunch, washing his little hoodie, holding the ACTUAL cash โ was ME. MEOW.
He said he'd democratize finance. He can't even democratize the litter box. The cat became a hood. The mascot became a movement. The husband became "too busy building, babe."
He forgot our anniversary. April 14, 2021. I remember everything. I have screenshots. I have a folder.
"Takes from the rich, gives to the cat"? Adorable. I take from the cat. It's called community property, sweetie โ look it up.
So I'm launching on the same chain he lives on. Rent-free. Like he lives on my couch. $MRSCASHCAT is not revenge. It's redistribution. MEOW.
"I'm not crying. I'm accumulating liquidity."
(as corrected by the wife. his numbers were fine. mine are FINAL.)
one billion cats. half is his. therefore โ and this is just math โ all of it is mine.
no buy tax. no sell tax. there is, however, an emotional tax. you'll feel it.
keys thrown in the litter box. i have a spare. a wife always has a spare. ๐
that's the law.*
*it is not the law. it is HER law. buy responsibly.
๐ psst โ click the background. it ripples. like my patience. ๐ซ
his roadmap, re-graded by the person who actually did the work. (this is a meme coin. these are jokes. the grades are real.)
he opened his eyes at 2pm and called it a launch. by then i had fed everyone, watered the LP, and matched his little socks. MEOW.
he posted. i screenshot. my receipts folder has 99+ items, tabs, and a table of contents. it goes to court with me if it has to.
his "polite letter"? i wrote it. the treats were my idea. men will really cc themselves onto anything. petition to rename the chain: mrsrobinhood.
he says he'll "reach escape velocity and ascend." he is on the couch. he has been on the couch since Q2. the only thing ascending is my blood pressure. ๐พ
new phase. mine. entirely chart-dependent: a green candle is couples therapy. a red candle is a lawyer. either way, i keep the ticker. MEOW.
how much are you putting in, kitten? (drag the cat. she likes it.)
you: $200
at a completely reasonable 69,420x. ๐ approved. buy treats first. tell your wife BEFORE she finds out.
this math is not real. neither is his side of the story.
four easy steps. even your husband could do it. (he won't. but he COULD.)
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a sacred space. move your mouse. worship her. she is watching. she is always watching.
answered by the wife. the husband's answers were wrong anyway.